Still. Life. It is My Story

Posts tagged “new start

Aftermath

There’s a lot of changes that happened last year. It all started with hope that it would be a new start for me… Moved to a new place, gained new friends… even had a chance to break free from my mom… 

Freedom always brings more perks… and what’s in return?…  Responsibility.

I remember that short story about a  Puppet Master who created a puppet and move it with a controller which is connected to her body, eventually he gave the controller to the puppet letting the puppet make or decide her own movements… her own actions, everything is doing well with the puppet’s new-found-freedom, she learned new things, new actions, for her, everything became very exciting, not until the enemy came…

The enemy tried to get a hold of that controller…  and once he was able to snatch it from the puppet, he started manipulating the puppet… hurting her, and controlling the puppet to hurt herself…

Then queue the Puppet Master, he helped the puppet, in the end of the story, grabbed the controller from the enemy, and gave it back to the puppet, and the puppet decided to give back the control to her Master.

I am just a mere puppet last 2011, with no control to whatever situation led me to.  I know, I grew a bit, physically, emotionally, socially, and mentally… but in the end I still feel so empty.  Freedom sometimes will never feel like freedom, without the liberty of expressing my love for my Master… 

As what that song said:

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind

 

Just woke this morning and it feels like 2011 again… I feel just the same… Same regrets, same hopes, same friends-lost. Same bed with same dreams… maybe nightmares… 

People who are reading this blog might advise that I shouldn’t be looking at the past – well blessed is he who remembers… and woe to him as well.  People say that I have a very sharp memory, I thank God for that; I never forget important things and event, specially when my emotions are heightened… but having a sharp memory can also be a curse, it makes you remember everything… all failures that you’ve done, all the frustrations for the things that you could have done…

 Aftermath January 1, the first day  of the year; I had a chance to bond with my one of my best friend, there are lot of things that happened since we met last year, we are both different from the last time we saw each other… I just invited her to to my place, ate lunch, watched some movies, and  talked to fill the gap of the whole year that we didn’t see each other…  And just as I expected it to be… It is one of the most magical moments of my life…

She told me one thing that I’ll take heart for this whole year:

“When you grow old, all that will make you smile will be memories, good memories… so when you are young keep collecting good memories, memories that you can keep in your heart.” – Radical Flower.

2011 for me is not that really worst… but I know it could be better if I have live it the other way… To spend time with people who are already on my reach… to forgive the people whom I know I haven’t forgave, maybe first on the list is myself.  To move on… REALLY move on.  My life here on earth is too short to live in regrets…  I know the ghosts from my past is still there to haunt me down…  But I know this time I’m ready to face them…

And maybe start again living in the direction that the Puppet Master is leading me… 

“Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead”

– “Worlds Apart” – Jars of Clay, Jars of Clay (1995)

†† – Philippians 3:13 (NIV)

 

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Mema.

Wait! Hold up!

Kaya pala ako gumawa ng blog na ganito, eh para maging freestyle din sya… Ala brain diarrhea kumbaga…

hehehe, sorry, hindi lang ako sanay sa Mema-post lang…  Pero, an dami kong gustong i post, hindi ko alam kung saan ko sisimulan…

Nagpunta ako ng Pampanga last weekend, naki farmville lang sandali…

Nagswimming sa Cavite…

Nagkasakit ng pansamantagal…

Nag-aaral ng watercolor painting… at inasar asar nang kaonte ang isang kaibigang nagpi feeling maging photographer slash sanguine (iniisip ko ding baguhin ang background ng page na to.)

Nag-iisip na magpost tungkol maraming bagay, kaso. tinatamad ako.

Kase, medyo magulo ang isip ko ngayon.  At kapag nakapag post ako, kailangan bang something na worth commenting?… o basta lang na makapag post, kesohodang langawin?…  (Siyempre fan pa rin ako ng good literature, kahit na sabihin nating blog lang to at hindi project sa thesis, nor port folio para tanggapin ka sa work mo, neither to impress yung ibang bloggers.)

Nakahanap na rin pala ako ng mga bagong sets nga acquaintances, hopefully, makahanap ako ng bagong close na kaibigan.

May inaabangan akong album ngayun… All Things Bright and Beautiful – Owl City yep! naurong ung release date nila from May 17 to June 14… 😦 hindi ko alam kung bakit… Pero atat na akong idownload ang buong album nila…

May mga previews na, pero yung ibang songs meron nang full track… ahahaha!!! pero mas masarap idownload sa i tune kapag buo na… (choices ko sa mga nasa youtube yung Galaxies, at ung Original ng Alligator Sky…yung preview ng How Became a Sea ay isang the best din!) And yes! may disclaimer yung album na yun, may pagka Christian ung ibang content ng songs nila… hmmn…

But anyway, kahit saang aspect naman, the best ang mga tracks ng Owl City, suitable siya sa iba’t ibang klaseng audience, at meron silang ibang klase sounds, sa mga hindi pa nakikinig, try ninyo! 😀 hahaha!!!

Hala?… naging Album review na toh?! ahahaha!!! just want to share, yung mga insights ko.  Hope to post something better next time!  Thank you anyway sa pagbabasa…

The title reminds me of that poem that we used to recite during elementary days...



Temporary Home

Heya, for some of you guys who are waiting for an update on my first wordpress blog, i’m sorry.

Been busy with work… 😀 hehehe, and i also moved to a new house (room) place … pad (apartment) … whatevahyoumacallit …

And yes! I am an adopted Pasigeño right now! (I actually have to google the alt code for “ñ” , and its alt+0241)

Just got certified on my chosen career, only plus one thou increase, havent buy my own laptop yet, less time online…

And most of my time during offs, in manila, i spend my time online gaming… (darn Battle of Immortals!)

My sorry to my followers… (aka MD, Kuya Kulisap and Pong ) I know you’ve all been waiting for my next update, and here it is! to a new home, or at least a temporary home…

I love the theme of my old blog… but sometimes, one may need a breather with all those colored masks, so here i am coming out in black and white…

I actually have several ideas to junk online, but I was  boxed with those masks, basically, i don’t know how to categorize them?…

One time youre feeling Ravy, then the next time it will be Esmina… and then Vary, etc. Confusing right?… (Hell I care if you understand it or not?)

I am not a fan of blogging my own pictures, (or videos though) but hope that you’ll find sometime in reading my posts here on this page… at yes!!! nagtatagalog po ako!

But like other bloggers around wordpress.. (or those dotcomers) it is easier for me to express myself in english rather that “tug-a-logue“…not only just trying to become coño (gee! that alt 0241 really helps a lot … hehehe… )

Expect the same things for me, cool real life blogs, personal experiences, or fictional stories, bondng and “magic” moments with my friends… (ymo most of the time) …

But more real this time.

Real life stories. (parang bio channel lang .. hahaha!!!)

And since this would be a blog for myself, I will be blogging most of the time about my stories, (so back off haters! peace.)

Yun lang po muna, consider this blog as my debut for this new Temporary Home.

Blessed be guys!